


Easter Rising

by Dollar_Day



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Constantine (TV), Hellblazer & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bunnies, Bunny Constantine, Chain-smoking bunny, Comedy, Easter, F/M, Implied Relationships, John Constantine gets turned into a bunny, Magic, Magical Accidents, Pagan Gods, okay fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dollar_Day/pseuds/Dollar_Day
Summary: When Glory shows up in Sunnydale, Buffy sends Anya to London to get the help of a certain Laughing Magician and a Rogue Slayer. But things take quite an unexpected, yet oddly appropriate turn...





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon. Hellblazer belongs to DC/Vertigo. I own nothing.

Things had been looking on the up and up for Faith since she’d left Sunnydale to travel with Constantine. Turns out the bastard had friends in high places. Like, really high places considering how all the charges against her had been dropped. The fact that he was also able to secure her an official state I.D. and a passport was pretty impressive.  
  
_Talk about the man with the magic touch._  
  
The first major change was the move to London. Apparently his ‘base of operations’, whatever that was supposed to mean, was located there, so naturally she tagged along. For John it was a return. For Faith, it was the start of madness, or so John told her. She soon learned why that was. It was the maddest city that she’d ever seen. Everything from the people, to the way of life, to just the city sky line seemed so… odd.  
  
And the weirdest of all, was the magic. London’s magic scene was unlike anything she’d ever seen. Not necessarily in terms of the quality of what was there, but because of its quantity. Having been the capital of a globe-spanning empire, it’s multiculturalism attracted every type of magic the world over. Everything from restaurant owners who worshipped the Hindu pantheon, to sex-clubs run by succubae, to djinn masquerading as taxi drivers, to politicians who made pacts to the Lords of the Fallen, to gentlemen's clubs ran by the Heavenly Host.  
  
But her first real lesson on the weirdness that was London and John Constantine’s hectic life happened just a week after they had moved to the city. It was a hell of an Easter weekend and it started quite… unexpectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was, oddly enough, feeling the Easter spirit (is that a thing?), so I wrote this. I hope you enjoy!


	2. Not So Good Friday

Faith walked down the street, still taking in the sights, smells, sounds of ol’ London Town. She’d never been abroad before, so she couldn’t help but play the stereotypical tourist. She knew that that feeling would soon fade and she’d eventually look at the city with a type of cynical mundanity that happened whenever she entered a new town. But just this once, she’d allow herself to fall for the lie.  
  
She had learned much since she started traveling with John. Not so much in fighting technique – _Christ, he’s so shit in a fight_ – but she learned about the various types of demons, vampires, etcetera, etcetera. She also learned poker from him, because he was one hell of a player, and one hell of a cheater.  
  
But if there was one thing that Faith had truly embedded into her mind since she met John Constantine, it’s that magic was far more unpredictable than she ever gave it credit for. It was as chaotic, as terrible, as addictive, and as repulsive as the universe itself. It could be used to levitate objects, turn water to wine, bring back the dead, and curse the living. And turn people into rabbits. Yup. That’s right. _Rabbits._  
  
“Not. One. Bloody. Word.”  
  
As she entered their apartment – _His apartment, our apartment?_ – she was confronted with a rather… interesting sight. In the middle of the living room amidst a series of intricate and various occult symbols and pentagrams and candles, lay a small rabbit.  
  
_A small blonde rabbit._  
  
_A small blonde rabbit with blue eyes._  
  
_A small blonde rabbit with blue eyes and a tie._  
  
_… What the actual fuck?_  
  
Her face was contorted into one of shock and surprise. She just managed to get the words out.  
  
“John? Is that you?”  
  
The rabbit seemed to roll its eyes, before hopping – _yeah, friggin’ hopping_ – over to her. “Yeah, luv. It’s me.”  
  
There was a long silence before the look of shock on her face quickly turned into a massive smile as she started laughing intensely at the little rabbit.  
  
“Oh, ha, ha, bloody ha! Yeah, just get it all out of your system while you can, luv.”  
  
“That’s hilarious!” She got out between laughs. “How the hell did this happen?”  
  
“I was looking up a spell as a favor for an old friend, when this one here turns up asking for my help.” He pointed to the far corner of the room to a familiar face.  
  
Faith turned and was greeted with the sight of a frightened Anya standing on a chair in the corner, looking on in fear.  
  
“Hello, murderous other-Slayer.” She greeted Faith, before returning her hard/terrified gaze toward the bunnified Constantine.  
  
“Apparently, there’s some serious shit going down back in Sunnydale and Buffy sent her here for my help.” He took a long drag of his cigarette before putting it out, which was odd to see a bunny do to say the least. “So, I invite her in and try to find a spell that would suit her needs, like the helpful mage I am, so-”  
  
“So, I read one from that weird looking book over there and he turns into a… a… bunny.” The former vengeance demon interrupted, finishing Constantine’s story.  
  
“Okay…” Faith drawled out, still trying to wrap her head around the story. “So, that still leaves one question.”  
  
“Really? Only one?” The bunny – _no, John_ – asked with a hint of surprise and sarcasm.  
  
“Sort of.” She immediately turned to Anya. “What the hell are you doing up there?”  
  
“What, do you think I’m actually going to go down there and let him hippity-hop all over my vulnerable flesh?”  
  
“Hippity-hop? What are you- ? Wait, are you afraid of bunnies?”  
  
“Don’t sound so judgmental! Rabbits are… evil! Pure evil! All long-eared, and furry, and the way that they only move by hopping.”  
  
“Oi! I am still here, you know.”  
  
“And still a bunny.” Faith put her hand to her head, her amusement quickly turning into something resembling a migraine. “Just in time for Easter too.”  
  
_Christ, this is so jacked up._  
  
“It’s funny you should say that, luv.” John snorted in laughter, his whiskers shaking as he did, as he reached for his lighter on the floor and his pack of cigarettes.  
  
Faith could only stare as he lit one, relishing the feel of smoke in his lungs and nicotine in his nerves. It was more than a bit strange to see a rabbit in a tie lighting a cigarette, let alone smoking one. Anya yelped slightly in terror as he hopped over in her direction, making his way to one of the books that was laying on the ground.  
  
“Oh, keep your knickers on, you tart.” John said to Anya, who returned his insult with a glare that would have been more terrifying if she wasn’t so frightened herself.  
  
Lifting the tome with his small rabbity paws, he turned the pages hurriedly searching for something. Or at least he tried to. The lack of opposable thumbs made it quite a challenge for him.  
  
“Uh, luv. Would you mind?” He asked Faith, beckoning with his nose toward the spell book.  
  
Faith gave a small snort as she picked up the book and her bunnified exorcist, and placed both of them on the dining room table. She started turning the pages for him as he searched for the correct spell.  
  
“Here it is!” John said as he pointed his paw to the page and started reading the weird mix of languages. “It’s an invocation to the goddess Eostre, whose feast day the papacy thought was rightly suited for their own bastard of the Lord.”  
  
“Right…” Faith responded, somewhat understanding. _Hey, it’s not my fault Brits have their own freaky lingo._  
  
“Easter was originally a pagan holiday devoted to the goddess Eostre before the Church took it as their own.” Bunny-John explained, rolling his eyes slightly at her confusion.  
  
“Oh, why didn’t you just say that?”  
  
“I did. It’s not my fault that you- oh, for Christ’s sake, are you just going to fucking stand there all day? Get over here and give us a hand for fuck’s sake!”  
  
Faith turned to the frightened looking Anya, who began to slowly get down from the chair, which was a start, but held up the chair in a manner of self-defense as she cautiously inched forward toward the pair.  
  
“So, all we have to do is find the spell that did this to you and you’ll be able to counter it with one of your own?”  
  
Bunny-John smiled, which Faith found incredibly odd, for not just a rabbit, but for John to do.  
  
“No, but you’re catching on to the workings of magic fast luv.” He remarked, putting out his cigarette on the table ashtray. “This spell is a bit more complicated unfortunately.”  
  
“C-Complicated how?” Anya asked from behind him, her leporiphobia still showing.  
  
"I got this spell book from an ex-cardinal. He’d stolen it from the Vatican Library. Apparently it catalogues all of the spells used by the pagan mages of Germania before its Christianization. The author apparently added in their own text to the book, adding elements of Christian prayer to it.”  
  
“Meaning…?” Faith asked.  
  
“Meaning, that this rabbit-fearing bint turned me into a floppy-eared hare using a raw and messy mixture of pagan magic and celestial invocation. There’s no spell that can counteract it.”  
  
Faith and Anya’s eyes both widened significantly as they took this in.  
  
“So, what you’re stuck looking like Peter Cottontail forever now?”  
  
After reading through the spell once more, working in his mind all the complexities and intricacies of the ritual, he closed the book with his two paws and all his might.  
  
“Apparently so.” John resigned, rubbing his own steadily growing migraine with his paws. “Bollocks.”  
  
Anya stared at the duo, feeling a bit guilty about turning the mage into a bunny. She knew that it was her mistake, and despite her intense phobia of rabbits, she owed it to him to get him back upright and human and smoking. Well, maybe not smoking, because being a rabbit didn’t seem to deter his constant inhalation of tobacco. But, still. She was a responsible human being now, and she caused this mess, and she would fix it.  
  
“Maybe not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. Bunny Constantine. I went there. And I don't care what you think! I love it!


	3. Unholy Saturday

Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins was in control. She was in complete control. She'd never been in more control in her life. Everything about her screamed control. Okay, so maybe for a minute there, I may have actually screamed. But in her defense, coping with the fact that the one reason she had traveled across an entire ocean to one of the weirder countries to have ever come into existence had turned into the one thing in all the realms she ever truly feared was something that warranted her screams. It all still took some getting used to, but her desire to rectify her wrong-doing toward the grumpy magician managed to suppress her phobia well enough. That didn't stop her from insisting that John stay in a cage as they went to carry out her plan.

Anya, Faith, and John sat in the train that would take them to Liverpool. The atmosphere was more than a bit awkward as the three of them sat in silence. Anya sat nervously, her fear of bunnies, yearning to take over. Faith sat in amusement, still relishing the fact that her eccentric friend had now become, and she was willing to admit this to herself and only herself, quite a cute bunny. John, well… he was clearly pissed off. Which was something that you could tell quite easily despite his becoming a rabbit. The newly implemented smoking ban, which cracked down on smoking on trains, didn't help either.

All in all, it was desperately uncomfortable.

"So…" Faith started, wanting to end the prolonged silence. "How'd you know Miss Mother Nature?"

Anya turned away from Bunny-John, who had been glaring daggers at her, grateful for any form of distraction.

"Well, I met her in San Francisco back in '93." Anya responded, expounding how she had come to meet the person that they were now seeking. "She owned some property in the city, and she was feeding the birds, and strays, and homeless people. I don't know why. I suppose she needs their worship, but why she needs to feed them is beyond me. Hapless charity if you ask me- "

"Okay!" Faith interrupted, getting her point somewhat. "I get it. But how the hell does someone like a goddess, has to owe you something?"

"Well," She said, "I am a vengeance demon. Or was a vengeance demon."

"So, you service more than just humans? On the payroll of the high and mighties?"

"Eostre is not all high and mighty." Interrupted Bunny-John from his cage. "Well, she might be high."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked, glad that the mage was at least willing to converse now.

"Just because someone's a deity, doesn't mean that they're immune to imperfections." His whiskers bristled slightly. "It's how we ended up with the appendix, Neanderthals, and reality tv."

"That's true enough." Anya spoke up, continuing on her explanation. "She needed someone of my expertise to wreak vengeance on some guy who had taken something from her."

"What did he take from her?" Faith asked. Who would be stupid enough to steal something from a god?

"Her worship. Or so she told me."

"Her worship? How the hell does someone steal worship?" Faith's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Gods are a tricky business, luv.' Bunny-John's voice popped up from her lap. "The usual source of power for most gods lies in worship. The more followers there and the more devoted they stand, the stronger their gods become."

"So, they need believers?"

"Well, not just believers. Worshippers. People who will say prayers to them, who'll sacrifice cattle to them, who'll dance the fandango for them in their bloomin' honor."

"So, they need desperate saps who depend on them for support. They need-"

"Faith." Bunny-John interrupted, finishing her sentence.

"Yeah, what?" She responded with a hint of annoyance. She never like being interrupted.

Bunny-John just gave her an amused look from his cage. Faith quickly realized what he had meant, responding with a simple, "Oh."

Anya observed their interactions. From what she remembered of them back in Sunnydale, they always had an interesting chemistry. The way they always seemed to enjoy their arguments, how quickly Constantine was prepared to come to Faith's defense when she came out of her coma, how she always seemed to spare him from any of her brutal punches when she worked for the Mayor. It was certainly an odd chemistry. If anything, it reminded her slightly of herself and Xander.

Hmm. I wonder if they're-

"Oi!" Bunny-John screamed at her. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Hm? Umm… what?" Replied Anya, shaken at the disruption of her train of thought.

"He asked you if this Eostre chick will listen to you." Faith said, having managed to talk the Hareblazer down from his anger out of worry that the other train passengers would take suspicion of a talking rabbit.

"Well…"

This wasn't the type of response that Bunny-John liked to hear. "Well, what?"

"I kind of… failed… to wreak vengeance on her target." She replied sheepishly.

"What the bloody hell do you mean 'failed'?" He asked, or rather nearly screamed.

"Shhh! John! Pipe down and keep it cool. People are staring." Faith said, waving away the concerned looks of some of the other passengers. "Okay, so what happened?"

"Bollocks to that! Will she turn me back into a human?!"

"… Maybe?"

At this point, Bunny-John more or less exploded in rage. He shook angrily in his cage, grunting and shaking about, trying to break free so he could, as Faith suspected, beat the living shit out of the ex-vengeance demon. Anya quickly tensed in her seat, doing her best not to scream out given that for the first time in her history, her fear of rabbits was justified. But given that he had both the size and strength of a hare, Bunny-John couldn't really manage to break through the cage.

Faith tried to steel her embarrassment at how they all must have looked, the cage in her lap shaking in fear due to the anger of her bunnified friend.

If the whole situation wasn't so screwed up, she might have found it all to be hilarious. And despite how cute – Yes, I'll admit it. He's kinda cute as a rabbit – she found Bunny-John to be, she much preferred her Bastard of the Dark Arts to be fully human.

"Okay, guys let's all try to keep a level head." She whispered, shaking the cage to get her pissed off exorcist to stop. Have I just become the voice of reason? Jesus, this more serious than I thought.

"Y-yeah." Said Anya, trying to recollect herself. "Besides, even though I didn't succeed in wreaking vengeance on this Joshua guy, she still technically owes me."

"Owes you? Owes you how?" Faith asked, intrigued at this development.

"Despite the fact that I failed to get the guy, I did mangae to find her a source of worship."

"Is that why we're headed to Ireland?"

"Mmhhmm." She nodded, before looking back at Bunny-John who still maintained something of a steely gaze toward her.

Congratulations Anayanka. You've managed to successfully start a personal grudge against you from a bunny.

She was so tired. But then again, they were all quite tired.

John had gotten tired of his cage and just wanted to be human again. The fact that they were headed to Ireland via Liverpool wasn't exactly ideal for him. He hadn't been there since he'd learned of his dad's murder. He wanted to spend as little time there as possible. Ideally, he didn't want to go there at all. But if it meant becoming human again, he'd take the risk.

Faith wanted her friend back to human size. She'd had a long week, her patrol of the London streets being far more taxing then her time in Sunnydale. Looking down at her exorcist-turned-bunny, trapped in his little cage, she took him out and started to pet him, stroking his furry back in a bid to get him to just calm the fuck down. It was quite a strange life she had found herself in.

Anya just wanted to be home. She wanted to fix her mistake and be done with this stupid country. She wanted to get what she needed and go back to Sunnydale where she felt needed and wanted and not entirely out of place. And most of all she just wanted to hear Xander's voice.

The three of them fell into silence as the train continued on through the English countryside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward train journeys are my specialty. I should clarify that this doesn't exactly fit into the story "All the King's Men". I just came up with a scenario and ran with it. It might one day, it might not. For now, be content with the fact that it exists in its own self-contained ficverse. So, please enjoy pissed-off Bunny-John, amused/annoyed Faith, and rabbit-fearing Anya.


	4. Happy Fucking Easter Sunday

It took a while to get there. Well, it took a cab ride, a 6-hour train, and an early morning ferry to get there, but they got there in the end. From his little cage that was perched on Faith's lap, he could see the outline of the Irish coast.

_Finally._

John was more than a little apprehensive, not just with Anya's plan, but with having to go to Ireland. The last time he'd been here was a year after he had been released from Ravenscar. That was when he ran into Brendan Finn and his girlfriend, Kit. He recalled his brewery and collection of fine Irish craft beers, all on tap, and far better than the swill John had to drink in London. He remembered those days fondly.

_If things go to shit, maybe I'll stop by and visit for a pint._

Stepping off the ferry, the three of them managed to hitch a ride to Dublin from a lorry driver. The drive was filled with a pre-dominantly awkward silence. It was fair enough given the oddity of the whole situation, made greater by the fact that when they were asked by the driver why they were headed to Dublin, Anya up and told the bloke the whole truth. Needless to say, they weren't plagued with conversation for much of the trip.

After about an hour's drive, they finally made it to Dublin. They were dropped off at the center of town, in front of the steps of the General Post Office. Bunny-John had fallen asleep in his cage during the drive. Wanting to put off any potential arguments with the floppy-eared mage, Anya told Faith not to wake him up. That left the two of them in the city center, lost amidst the Easter celebrations.

"So, where to now?" Faith asked, getting a feel for their surroundings.

"I don't know exactly." Anya said, as she made her way to a newsstand. "But I have it on good authority that she's currently living in the city."

"Good authority?"

"An old friend of mine. Don't worry about the details." _That's two I owe D'Hoffryn now. Great._

"So," Faith continued, hauling up the rabbit cage. "How do we find this bitch, then?"

Anya finished her purchase, a city map of Dublin, and smiled cheerily. "Well, she **is** the goddess of nature and spring. The best thing to do would be to start out with the least industrial areas of the city. Parks, local business areas, places where smelly hobos gather, that kind of thing."

Taking a quick look at the little sleeping bunny – _No, dammit! John. It's John –_ in the cage, she felt the sting of determination. She knew that it was going to be a bitch to do, but she figured she owed it to him after everything that he'd done for her. _Don't worry Johnny-boy. I'll get you back soon._

"Well, what are we waiting for?" She said, snatching the map from Anya. "It's gonna be a long day."

* * *

It took a while. Okay, it took five hours for them to find the goddess. Within those five hours, they had gotten kicked out of a pub, beat the shit out of a bunch of self-professed "gangsters", proclaimed harlots by a drunken pastor, and interrupted an Easter egg hunt. They eventually found her in a park, deep in the heart of the city. By now, John was awake and fully hopping when they entered St. Stephen's Green.

"Is that her?" Faith asked, looking at the blonde woman in the floral dress, sitting on the edge of a public fountain.

"Yup, that's her. Germanic goddess of spring, Eostre." Anya bristled in place, a bit uncomfortable at having to face down an old client she had failed.

As far as Faith was concerned, she didn't seem all that divine. But she knew well enough from her experience as a Slayer, and all the crazy shit she would get into travelling with John, that magic was all about illusion. That disguise of making your true nature completely hidden from the world. It was something she had enough experience with as well.

Despite her normal senses telling her otherwise, she suspected that there was more. Her fancy-ass "Slayer sense" piqued a little the longer she stayed within the vicinity of the woman.

"So, what are we waiting for?" Bunny-John perked up in impatience. "Let's see if the flowery tart can fix this mess or not."

The three walked slowly toward the woman, cautiously. The apparent goddess, was feeding bread to the pigeons from her spot on the fountain. Despite how windy it was, she wore a summer floral dress that seemed to billow slightly. Faith noted she was quite voluptuous, with the dress seeming to accentuate her curves. She appeared to be healthy, jovial, beautiful.

_Oh, yeah. She ain't human._

The woman turned to the three and gave a look of pleasant surprise.

"Anayanka! Is that really you?" Surprise and welcome dancing away in her voice.

"Yup. It's me! Although, I go by Anya now."

"Oh, yes! I had heard that you'd become human now." She threw the last of the bread to the other pigeons. "Don't worry, dear. I won't hold it against you."

Her gaze then shifted to Anya's companions, her eyebrows raising in surprise at the brunette and the little blonde leporid.

"Oh, dear. I'm terribly sorry. We haven't been introduced. My name is Eostre, but you can call me Easter sweetie."

"Cool… um… Easter." Faith responded awkwardly. "I'm Faith, and this is my friend John."

"You named your rabbit 'John'?"

"Well… not really." She held up the rabbit in the cage, who during the introduction had lit a cigarette and started smoking. "He kinda got turned into a rabbit."

Nodding to the goddess, the rabbit took a long drag of his smoke, before speaking up. "Hello, there. The name's John Constantine. Your ol' friend over there says that you can fix her cock-up."

There was a moment of silence, the ancient goddess comprehending what she was seeing in front of her right now.

"Anya?" She perked up to the other blonde woman. "Did you turn this poor man into a bunny?"

Anya crossed her hands over her chest defensively trying to deny her actions, but soon sheepishly admitted, "Maybe…"

"Oh, dear. How did you manage to do that?" She asked, genuine worry crossing her face.

"Do you have time, cause it's a helluva story?" Faith said, trying to resist falling into laughter at the annoyed expression on John's face.

_It's a helluva life, too._

* * *

They moved their discussion to a nearby café. Easter had wanted a drink, and John had to admit that he could use a cuppa as well. Two rounds of cappuccinos and a Darjeeling later, they had completed telling the Germanic goddess their long winding story from Sunnydale to London, from human to rabbit, and from England to Ireland. Throughout the story, she seemed amused by the whole recounting, even laughing out loud at certain parts. John hoped that she was in a generous mood, because he knew the power that hybrid spells contained. If Easter wouldn't turn him back, it could be a few years before he could find something to turn him human again.

"Well, that sounds like quite a tale, love." She stroked Bunny-John's back at the end of their story, who at this point was sat on the table.

"You don't have to tell me that, dearie." He responded, a hint of flirtation in his voice. _Yeah, I'm flirting with a goddess so she can turn me back into a man. I know. I know. I am fucking desperate._

Faith couldn't help but feel a little stint of jealousy at the rapport that the two had going on. Quickly squashing away her feelings – _No, these are not fucking feelings! –_ she spoke up.

"Look, ma'am." She said trying to be a little bit courteous, for John's sake mostly. "We've been traveling non-stop for the last few days. And we were lucky enough just to find you in the park. Will you turn him back or not?"

Easter looked to Faith, her kind expression never fading, but peering into her eyes with a sort of studying look. It was as if she were analyzing everything about the Boston-born Slayer. Her thoughts, her actions, her fears, her feelings, her past, her present, maybe even her future. Any fire that Faith had in her was quickly subdued by the intensity of the goddess's gaze.

"Of course, I will."

Faith blinked rapidly, barely registering what was said. "Y-you will?"

"Didn't I just say?" Easter responded back quite cheekily. "I may not exactly hold lovely Anya here in the highest regards, but I'm not entirely cruel."

Faith turned to Bunny-John who had remained silent, simply staring down the fertility goddess. He said nothing, for what felt like hours but was actually a second, before speaking up.

"What do you want?"

Easter could only laugh, her smile widening. It was a gracious laugh one that seemed to coincide with the clouds parting and the sun shining downward onto the city. It must have been a coincidence, thought Faith. But it would all make sense seeing as she was the goddess of spring.

"Nothing gets past you Mr. Constantine." She sipped the last of her cappuccino. "I do want something from you. Since Anayanka failed at her job, perhaps you might succeed in accomplishing what I desire."

"You want me to do the work of a vengeance demon?" He asked, ignoring Anya's scoff of offense.

"Not… exactly." She smiled mischievously. "Last time, I let Anayanka choose the method of vengeance. This time, I have something more specific in mind."

John turned to look at Anya and Faith, surprise and worry coating both their faces. He knew that it was better to be owed than to owe. It was one of the few personal rules that he followed. It was the reason he was still alive.

_But then again, better to be a human than a fucking rabbit._

"What, then, is it that you want me to do?"

"Oh, no, no, no, honey. Not now. I'll tell you in private. But first…" She turned to make sure that no one was looking their way. She then stuck out her hand and stroked it along Bunny-John's back and down onto his head, her fingers ending up on his nose.

The three of them couldn't exactly remember seeing what happened next. It was as if there was a silent explosion of stars. John felt the familiar tug of magic twist and turn him from the inside out. He felt the dimensions of space and beyond fold and unfold as a strange elongating sensation coursed throughout his body.

Before the three of them could register, John Constantine was in his seat next to Faith, fully formed and human once more. He checked himself in the reflection of the café window.

_Arms? Check._

_Legs? Check._

_Face? Check._

_Coat? Check._

_Okay, no more Peter Cottontail for me._

He breathed out, grateful to the goddess that he was human once more. He turned back to Faith a joyous look on his face, celebrating the fact that for once in his life some weird shit happened that didn't end in the death of a friend or some fever-dreamlike chaos. He was so happy that for a fleeting moment he moved to hug Faith. But he didn't because it was a fleeting moment's consideration that very quickly died upon his remembering of who he was.

_I'm John Constantine. I do_ _**not** _ _hug._

He instead just gave her a quick wink, awkward and out of place, but the joy on her face not subsiding nevertheless. But even though he wouldn't admit it to himself, for a brief moment, he really did want to hold her.

Easter turned to Anayanka who was looking at the awkward "technically-not-a-couple" with the same look of curiosity as she had. They could both easily tell that the exorcist and the Slayer had a connection that was deeper than either of them were willing to admit. But for now they would celebrate. And for now Anya could breathe a sigh of relief at the fact that John was no longer a bunny.

If only she knew about the man in the Easter Bunny costume that was making his way to their table as a promotional gimmick for the café.

For people like John, Faith, and Anya, it seemed that chaos was never too far behind.

_Happy Fuckin' Easter, eh?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! An ending for John Constantine that doesn't end in some horrific manner! But this isn't the end yet. I mean it is, but it's kind of not. Okay, there's an epilogue and then it's the end. After all, don't you want to know what Easter's favor was?
> 
> Also, I may have borrowed the characterization of Easter from American Gods. Only borrowed though. This isn't a crossover with American Gods.
> 
> Or is it? (It's really not. I'm too lazy for that)
> 
> Happy Easter to all! And remember, it was Eostre's holiday first!


	5. Conclusion

**_Conclusion_ **

Faith Lehane remembered that weekend quite fondly. They went back to London soon after. They would try do their best to help out with the bedlam going down in Sunnydale. Apparently Buffy had her own goddess to deal with, and she wasn't as personable as Easter was. John sent over everything he knew on this Glory hell-bitch, but he couldn't fly over to assist. He had to deal with a personal vendetta against the bastard who murdered his dad. Faith was there with him when he did the deed. His first murder. She calmed him as he threw up at the sight of his actions, helped him dispose of the body, comforted him as he sat silent and motionless in the field, hugged him in his bed as he broke down over the cycle of violence that he had experienced.

But time passes, people change, life evolves and goes on. They had their spats and arguments. They lived, they laughed, they loved. _Boy, did we love._

Eventually they went their separate ways. She went back to Sunnydale to help out with the First. John carried on as normal, if you ignored those five months he spent as an alcoholic tramp. He rebuilt his life. She rediscovered her's.

They both sent their condolences to Xander upon hearing that Anya didn't survive Sunnydale's final battle. She gave hers in person. He gave his from a meager phone call.

They returned to their lives. She was busy working with the New Watcher's Council, training all the new Slayers who were scattered throughout the world. He regained his prominence as Britain's greatest mage after his great and infamous con against the three Lords of the Fallen.

It didn't take long for the universe to conspire for them to find each other once more. They bumped into each other one rainy night in Soho. They've been together ever since.

* * *

Easter rolled around again this year, but the two never paid much mind. John came back to their apartment that night, blood all over his new shirt. She was concerned for a minute before John alleviated her worries.

"Stop molly-coddling me! I'm fine, luv. Besides it's not even my own blood."

"Really?"

"Really."

Faith knew that tone of voice. She heard it a million times before "John, what the fuck have you been up to this time?"

"Well," he started, moving toward her to hold her in his arms, "you remember that one Easter where Anya turned me into a rabbit?"

"How could I possibly forget that? You were a pretty cute rabbit."

"Was I?" He asked, genuinely surprised that Faith of all people could find something cute. "Well, you'd remember how I owed Easter a favor."

"John. That was almost ten years ago. Are you really just repaid that favor?"

"Well, it's not like I had a choice. The opportunity hadn't made itself available."

"What and now it has?"

"More or less."

She laughed at his ridiculous nature and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "You are _ridiculous_ , John Constantine."

"Only for you, Faith Lehane." He kissed her back. "Only for you."

* * *

It was a cold day in London, but then again it was always cold. He reflected on everything that had happened. It all seemed obvious now, the inevitability of it all. The creation, the war, the rise, the rule, the fall. Like a map, it all lay before him clear, but that's the trouble with hindsight.

He huddled his blanket closer to his body, his meager clothes tattered and torn, ineffective against the harsh English weather. Yesterday, he had spent reflecting in an alleyway in front of a skip. This morning he sat in silence in Hampstead Heath, numb and unfeeling as he watched the humans whom he had guarded, guided, slaughtered, and ruled for centuries. And just an hour ago, he was assaulted by a group of chavs who taunted him as he tried to walk on, who punched him in the face until his teeth were knocked out, who kicked him in the scars on his back until they started to bleed once more.

Now he was somewhere in London, not really knowing where exactly. He lamented his own past, his fall. He remembered everything he could have questioned but didn't.

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The slaughter of Egypt's first-born.

The rape of the Nazarene woman, which would begin a cycle of violence that would end on a hill called Golgotha, right outside Jerusalem.

He broke down in the middle of the pavement, passersby paying no mind to the poor beggar. And on that cold London afternoon, the fallen archangel Gabriel cried, and cried, and cried.

For he had fallen from grace.

And fallen so far.

* * *

In her new manor back in San Francisco, Easter sighed in relief as she sat down in her sitting room. Easter, once known as Eostre or Ostara, poured herself a glass of wine as she stared at the new decoration that hung above her fireplace. She smiled in appreciation at her new gift. She knew that it was owed to her for some time now, but she had some honor unlike the others. She had given him until the end of his life to fulfill his end of the deal.

_And boy, did he ever. I wonder how he and that lovely Slayer are doing…_

She sipped at her wine and placed a record on the player. She sat in silence and joy as she felt the spectrum of worship, the power of belief flow through her. It wasn't like the old days, but she had enough. She would live. She raised a toast to those who worshiped, those who loved, and to her new fireside decoration. There, mounted above the roar of the fire, hung her latest piece sent from the mage John Constantine.

The wings of an archangel.

_It's going to be a very happy Easter, indeed._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! I hope you enjoyed this short story! And a very Happy Easter to all!


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